(My partners name has been replaced with L out of respect for her privacy.)
Charles’ Ideas, Thoughts, and Guidelines
Charles’ Ideal Relationship with L- A relationship that is very loving, comforting and secure with the intent for lifelong partnership. One that is creatively, artistically, sexually, intellectually, and emotionally stimulating. The relationship allows both partners the freedom to explore other people/places/experiences and enjoy life to the fullest. A situation in which both of us feel our needs are being communicated and met. One that creates a support system to help each other when we are down. Most importantly we are dedicated to our relationship doing our best to see that each other’s needs are met allowing our love to flourish.
Growth, Experience, Love, Compassion, Friendship, Enjoyment
- A person can love more than one person
- Freedom is important for each person to explore themselves, grow, and thoroughly enjoy life
- A person can have a primary partner (L) without making friends and outside partners beneath that life partner. Respecting each person and relationship as an individual circumstance to the dynamic between them.
- A person can have other sexual experiences or love other people but still dedicate themselves to their life partner
Charles’ Guidelines and Limitations
-Primary relationship remains of the utmost importance. Primary partners are our secuity and our home.
-L can bring girls into our bed with their understanding this is a shared sexual space between us and thus sexual experiences here should be open to include us both (No boys in our bed without prior agreement)
-No outside involvement should seriously undermine our primary relationship
-Safe sex must be practiced with all partners except in our primary relationship
(This means a condom for all acts in which a penis could secrete semen into the person. Including oral, vaginal, anal.)
-Outside Partners can be sexual adventures, consistent, lovers and friends
-No excessive money spending
-Unexpected sexual events are acceptable, but primary partners should do a good job communicating outside partner circumstances
-Primary partners will communicate any pressing concerns and hear out the concerns regarding any outside involvement (Does not have to be detailed)
-One day a week is dedicated time for L and Charles to spend together
-Let each other know if we will be out later than expected or all-night
-The existence and importance of our primary relationship will not be hidden from outside partners
-Everything is open for negotiation via sit down discussion (not via last minute text)
Is it okay to bring other partners into our bed when there is a scheduled sleep over elsewhere? (If sleep over ends early or there are complications it could create awkward situations)
My personal feeling is –Possibly with prior consent
I feel the need to fully explore a poly life-style.
I often feel the need to have a variety of people in which I can pursue intimate or sexual encounters with. I don’t think I want those encounters to be one night stands. I am not sure how involved I want to be with those secondary relationships beyond being ‘friends with benefits’. (Having not explored enough it’s hard to say how the secondary person will fit into my life on an emotional level if at all)
I need support from the people closest to me.
I love L and would like to pursue a life together with her.