My relationship life is a mess right now regarding everything else but rory. We're doing perfectly fine. Me and JJ on the other hand are one discussion away from a divorce. I don't think there's anything at the moment that could make things better. There is a chance for getting back together at some point but I think I just need that ending point first. And if we do feel like trying again, we have to commit to it, really try hard and fix everything that's broken. Right now I don't have the motivation to do that. I need a break from the unhappy situation as it is now.
I saw Bob yesterday for the last time before I leave the country. It was a very emotional visit. He's also breaking up with his girlfriend so we tried to support each other with our break-ups. I saw something in him that night that I haven't seen before. Something very soft, emotional and vulnerable. All of a sudden I forgot everything I've ever thought about us not being compatible. He moved something inside me. Why now? Why did this have to happen on my last visit? Right now I'm feeling very sad that we're not going to be in the same place soon. That man is driving me crazy. I feel like I'm sort of addicted to him. Like I know he's not good for me (or do I? I keep questioning myself), but I keep coming back and wanting more. Well, this thing in its current form is going to end anyway no matter what I think about it. Dream City is where I want to be, no question about that. But man, this is harder than I thought.