I had an interesting epiphany about my relationship(s) last night, after crawling into bed.
My male partner was very distracted after our conversation yesterday afternoon. In the two months we've been together he's divulged very little about his childhood, what his hopes/dreams/life goals are. He was progressively more quiet and distracted the more questions I asked.
I had a boyfriend many years ago who actually believed I wasn't very bright, because I had a tendency to keep conversations very superficial. He then realized it's because I had difficulty opening up and being close to people, it was my way of keeping them at arms length.
My male partner has not thought far enough ahead in terms of hopes/dreams and life aspirations, because he's scared shitless. To hope and dream about your life and what you want, means there could come a time when you may lose it. This is far too scary and devastating for him to think about. Or so it seems to me.
In turn, the reason why the relationship between my male and female partner exists, is because they ask very little of each other. He is the caregiver ( she has not been financially stable since they've been together), so he has a sense of control. Our issues are not arising because of a lack of boundaries alone, it's because I am asking them to be responsible to me. In turn, asking them to be responsible to each other. It's freaking their shit out.
Last edited by punkrockmomma; 08-13-2012 at 10:34 PM.