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Old 08-13-2012, 01:25 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,153

What Tonberry said. Receiving anal sex and liking it does not equal being gay or bi. A sexual act is not an orientation. It could mean just that you have found a new sexual act that you enjoy. Congrats! That's a great thing!

I suggest reading through Dan Savage's advice to the questioning. He has lots on the various possibilities of sexual desire choices. For example, some men love sex with men but are just not interested in romantic relationships with men. Some people find the same sex aethestically pleasing and sensual but just can't wrap their minds and libido around actually having full on sex with the same gender. (Or reverse this for people who identify as lesbian or gay.) Sometimes someone will identify as lesbian or gay but will have sex occasionally with the opposite gender. This doesn't make them less lesbian or gay - just means they have occasional sex with the opposite sex. Sometimes a person is just super straight or super gay but there is that one person from the opposite (or same) gender that just makes them swoon with want. The possibilities are just about endless.

I started out straight in high school, kinda maybe bi in college, in your face dyke lesbian after college, responsible white collar lesbian around town in my late 20s and 30s, and now I am dating mostly men and calling myself pansexual. I'm not unusual.

Sexual orientation is fluid except when it is not. People can and do change over time, sometimes gradually, sometimes dramatically. Or they remain who they are over a lifetime. In the US, it seems like men are less 'flexible' than men but I have a theory about that. I think there are more bisexual men than are currently out. Men have a lot more to lose being openly bi than do women who are openly bi. As the stigma of bi men slowly erodes, we will see more openly bi or pansexual men.

So it is possible you may not be totally straight. Or maybe you are, except you like the occasional pegging by a female, or maybe male, partner. Experimentation is not a bad idea. Just pay attention to what you are feeling and try to think about why you are feeling what you feel. That can help you sort this complicated sexual identity stuff out.
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