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Old 08-13-2012, 01:21 AM
punkrockmomma punkrockmomma is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 36

@Opalescent..." Don't fuck fragile, is awesome." I am going to use that in the future!

Both my partners are willing to discuss my boundaries, they did like some of the suggestions that I put out there in regards to "play time". Events outside of our city, private engagements etc.

Yes, we are fluid bonded. I fully admit to not having been as explicit in terms of protection as you have detailed. I am going to read your thread, while I am quite aware of the many ways of STI transmissions, clearly I need a not-so-subtle kick in the ass reminder.

My male partner had an epiphany last night, about the definition of the relationship between him and our female partner...and now me obviously. Our particular relationship is poly, but they have an open relationship otherwise. I can engage other partners if I want to, whether it be for a relationship, or just sex.

Our kerfuffle over Fetlife erupted because at same time my partners updated their status to say they were dating me, was the same time they updated their statuses that they were dating someone else...of which they had told me nothing. It squicked me out. To think a dating status has progressed to the point of being updated online, without my knowledge was weird.

Here is the ironic thing about Pride night, and me my female partner acting like free agents. The gentleman in particular, is someone who I had unfinished business with. We were both smitten with each other, but our meeting was at a mutually bad time a year and a half ago. I saw him on the fb wall for the event we were all attending, and did speak of him to both my partners. I hated that we parted badly, and was really hoping we could be cool with each other again. I was vending on behalf of my business - he came rushing up to my table, and I dashed around it and we started yammering away. My female partner joined in on the action when we got to mine, til our male partner got gentleman friend and I did nothing more than naked making out and hugging. We are both relieved and very happy to be part of each other lives again.

Okay, so here is the tricky stuff. My male partner and I have done a ton o' talking since last night. He feels that I passive aggressively fear monger, because I have difficulty being close with people. That I am doing much the same, with panicking about my relationship with my son, and the possible/ not possible realities of what could happen if someone were to follow through on misguided actions about poly and kink. That two months is far to early to be entertaining these thoughts. And that if the progression to all co-habitate ia decided someday, then we can discuss all the appropriate boundaries accordingly. I come from a family of addiction and alcoholism, I do often go to a place of loss, fast. I am also terribly protective of my life and stability, because I know what it's like to not have it. He does as well, since our life experiences are very similar. I hope he can learn to understand that when these panicky thoughts enter my head, he needs to acknowledge my feelings and then address the "logical" responses afterwards. Because when I am wound up and don't feel like I am being heard things escalate fast.

He and I are okay, but I left him with a lot to think about tonight. Because he has been busy surviving up until now, he has not given any thought to life plans. No one has a crystal ball, but to me is doesn't make sense to continue with a relationship, if you know you will never want the same things. It's like marrying someone who wants kids, when you don't, but never asking them that question. Then finding out six years in that kids were never in the cards, and being sad and disappointed with a relationship that will never fill your needs.

We shall see what happens.
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