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Old 08-12-2012, 07:39 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,900

Originally Posted by noisycthulhu View Post
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post:
What does 'male minded' mean? I am sincerely curious.
lol I've been told every variation of this, and 'male minded' seem to encompass it all. I basically have more in common and similar thought patterns to males rather than females. Most people say I should have been a man and I've had the deepest friendships with men rather than women. It's not a negative thing - I enjoy my personality. But people get confused with my closeness to males and my sometimes brash attitude when it comes to humor, sex, and physical play. I wrestle :P I won't lie and say it isn't purely asexual, sometimes I just like being pinned down by a big guy.

Most people assume I'm a slightly more femme but still butch lesbian. I detest labels because it's rarely that simple. I love both genders, but I feel I would be the 'guy' in most relationships. I believe this is why my 'taste' in men are either very big manly lumberjack/Nordic God types or very lanky 'femme' type builds.

I don't make any sense.
Actually, a lot of this makes perfect sense to me! But of course - a lot of what you are saying describes me as well.

I tend to feel more comfortable "hanging out" with men as "one of the boys" in general. My sense of humor and sexual aggressiveness can come across very masculine. I tend to have "bigger balls" than many when it comes to challenging authority. I tend to excel at interactions that involve intellectual debate, rational or logical thought, or practical solutions. I find myself avoiding topics involving emotions/romance/etc. After sex I tend to fall immediately asleep or am so energized I want to pop up and DO something (I only recognized that recently because Dude always wants to cuddle/talk after sex).

For me some of this may have been learned behavior - in college/grad school being 5'2", barely 100#, and looking very young for my age - when you are in a male dominated field, being able to take charge and not take shit from ANYONE is a useful skill (to this day my male boss of 13 years admits to my colleagues that he is a little bit afraid of me...which is just how I like it).

In my relations with women I tend to be drawn to very femme (but strong, independent) women. I definitely find myself taking on the "male" role there - protector, problem-solver, initiator of sex, etc. With men - I am attracted to big physically strong (but caring, thoughtful) alpha males who are my intellectual match.

I'm curious if you (like me) are your mother's firstborn child. Some of the "birth order" research points to a biological trend with regard to some of the tendencies noted. The first born child (of either gender) tends to be exposed to more testosterone in utero. In males this "boost" may be overshadowed by the cultural premium society gives the "first born male" (whether they are the first child or not). (Fair warning - birth order research is highly controvertial as there are MANY confounding just amuses me that me and my two younger sisters fit the profiles so closely.) MrS teases me about being my "father's oldest son" - I spent my childhood hunting, fishing, and fixing things with dad (I sometimes wonder if my father would have been such an awesome dad to his daughters if he had actually HAD a son? hmmm).

PS. Welcome to the forums and love the username.
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 08-12-2012 at 07:42 PM.
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