You don't just have an unhappy groom. You my dear, are (right now) a very unhappy bride. Plane tickets are shitty reason to go through with something you have doubts about. There's cold feet, and there's serious issues. A baby is a hugely serious issue. My sister was all starting on in vitro, and hooked up with an old love, and guess what? They got pregnant. They are together, but as far as i know, they have yet to marry.
You said in your blog that you have a therapist, is she no help? She should be helping you in interrupting the thought patterns you're sick of; she should be offering new questions to help you think clearly.
So sorry you're hurting.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)