The basics for being in right relationship with me? It's here.
We are closed, but discussing. We have to see where it leads. We know it's not going to be open any time soon.
There's some other things we're mapping out right now because it's a different playing field when you open up an existing marriage (to us anyway) than the last "V" when we were 3 singles without kids or heavy burdens (ex: careers, houses, combined finances, aging parents, etc). It's not exactly a level playing field like before.
It's not like we can predict every
little thing that might happen. Nobody can. But getting some global basics sketched in and agreements for how to resolve conflicts when (not IF!) they arise? That's where I like it.
I want to trust my partner to play well. He ought to make the calls in his relationships -- both with me and whoever else it may be. BUT -- since there's overlapping people? Let's get some "play fair" things in place. I'm enjoying the conversations with him -- he's got hot ethics. They turn me on.
I don't need to micromanage him or be micromanaged. But I need to be able to feel I'm in safe hands in all my buckets -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, spiritual health. I want to know where he's at so I can carry HIS buckets with minimal slosh too. It's that whole "You are responsible for your own and your partner's buckets" thing.
When you are IN a relationship, you can't act like you are a footloose single. Even in open relationships -- there's ethics. It's not just the obvious "STD/pregnancy no riding bareback" thing.
Other issues in other buckets to have to treat with respect.
I'm just not interested in drama.