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Old 08-11-2012, 05:16 PM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Dreams can be torture.

People I used to love (or really, really, REALLY like) keep popping up in them. I dreamed, f'rinstance, that someone I used to want had not taken up with a total idiot after his divorce, and had not turned out to be kind of a douche. I dreamed he was a troubled, brooding single dad with one hell of a nanny -- this woman was massive, like an Olympic weightlifter, and so friendly! And sure, in the dream, I had to rebuild a bridge I'd burned, but it worked out for the best. It was a glimpse into a future I might have had if not for the whole poly thing.

Or was it? Because even if I'd been mono, a douche is a douche and bad taste in women endures. If I'd staked my claim when I learned he was single again, his ex might've poisoned me against people I have kept around who do matter and who aren't douches. Worst of all, we would probably have been miserable; we really don't have enough in common. He left a woman like me for, it turns out, a woman unlike anyone any of us knew. Another single parent, so he'll end up supporting several children instead of his own two. Bad hair, no decorum (bikini pics on Facebook and all!). Passing acquaintance with the finer points of the English language; a disregard for them all the same.

That was what he wanted, after all. Let him have it. Let them grow vulgar and old together. You drink your cheap beer; I'll have mine imported from Belgium. You watch your Sunday night football; I'll take my football European, with a side of rugby.

We could've been great -- but I would've got fed up with him before too long, wouldn't I? and left him because no, he's not what he pretended to be at all, and there's no changing another person to suit you (surely the ex understands).
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
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