View Single Post
  #13  
Old 08-11-2012, 01:18 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 419
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowmelt View Post
Your replies show very clearly that you're uncomfortable with them getting intimate. You clearly point out what the problem is NOT - jealousy or them talking about you. The two of you talk, you tell him no, he accepts that answer and backs off. Unless I missed it, I can't find the place in your replies where you plainly state the specific reason(s) for your discomfort. The "solution" seems to be telling him no and he accepting that, without finding the real reason behind your discomfort. Wouldn't it be better for all involved to discover the actual reason(s) for your discomfort with it and talk about it, instead of reacting to it by just telling him "no don't do it" and leaving it at that?


In my opinion, you haven't solved this. All you've done is agreed to stop talking about it. Whatever is going on inside of you will come up again and again in different ways until you address it. In the long run, it's always easier addressing it within the current situation, then waiting for the next one.
snowmelt, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying.. I told C that I would be uncomfortable if he dated my friend, because she and I are so close and I would worry about the friendship and it just seems too complicated.. I also told him I did not like him dismissing my uncomfortableness... do you think there are other 'actual' reasons behind my not wanting him to date her?
__________________
early forties, straight.
Reply With Quote