everything is mostly fine. both husbands know what is going on. that's great and all but i am tired... mentally. my husband is excited about it all. he's giddy and he talks about it non stop. i am happy for him. at the same time i just want to relax and let things settle. i like my bf and her husband. right now i just want to get back to being friends. i'm too tired to do anything else.
last night was a sleep over for the four of us. not a kinky sleep over. just dinner, movie, and a few drinks then bed... very late. i slipped up after a strong german beer and asked the bf's hubby a silly question. he laughed and before he could answer i told him to forget about it... which he probably did. i didn't. i felt bad about it. nothing big. i just feel as if it was the wrong time. we were alone so no one else knew. i told my husband about it and he was more worried about it then i was.
when i woke up this morning the bf's hubby came down. we always wake up before our spouses. they're lazy
i apologized and made sure i didn't do anything to make him feel strange. he just laughed again and told me all is fine. i trust him and i know he was being honest. if he had a problem with it he would have told me. he is very open and comfy with me so i know he meant what he said. however, i still feel bad about it. that's just how i am. i'll spend a few days walking around in my own little guilt filled world. I'll be okay after that.
i guess i'm just venting again. i told my husband today that i want to chill on the relationship talk. i just need a break.
i do have one question. how do you guys handle getting over the sexual vibe? the three of us are all thinking too hard about the whats, whens, and wheres. i just want to go back to being comfortable with my bf's husband. i am not sure if it is mostly just me but i feel as if i am always sending out fuck me mojo when i am around him. i don't care about sex as much as i care about him and his family. just being in the same room as them makes me as happy as i can be. my problem is that i don't know how to turn the sexy off. laugh if you want... i am right now.
it's like i'm playing a waiting game but i already have what i am waiting for. true friendship. i guess i need to spend some time alone. i miss being alone. with my hubby, my bf and her man, and the dogs and kids around alone time is hard to come by. but i will try. thanks for reading. i'm sure i sound like a dork.