Sorry, when I ramble I sometimes forget to add paragraphs. I know that my girlfriend and boyfriend are trying to talk to me as far as find out what I need out of this relationship. I unfortunately, because of my MS, have problems figuring out what I need in general let along in a relationship. There is one question though that I do want to ask,
How do I get over the marriage aspect?
I have already been married once and it was just through a J.P. I love Lil very much but sometimes trying to help her prepare for the wedding hurts a little and cause nostalgic feeling of hoping to have a wedding someday. We technically live underground as far as the relationship because of Jay's family being Catholic and mine being old school so we can't have anything putting all three of us together like some triads do. Also it's the fact that I don't feel that I have a right to feel saddened at not being married to either of them because they were together first.
Sorry if it seems like I am rambling again, the Multiple Sclerosis sometimes makes my mind run 1,000 miles a minute but with pot holes in the road causing confusion to others who are trying to understand what I am saying.