Originally Posted by km34
I'm also confused about how that method works (waiting multiple dates, claiming to be single, etc). Are there really that many women out there who are okay with dating people who have lied about something that huge? I couldn't imagine not having enough self respect to walk away from a guy who did that to me. I would think getting to know a woman just to get to know her while letting her know about polyamory and then letting her decide if this really nice person who has been talking to her in a no pressure kind of way who happens to believe in alternative relationship structures would be someone she wants to date. Seems a lot more honest and a better way to build a sturdy foundation for a relationship.
I thought I was clear in my earlier comment, but apparently not. I don't lie, I strongly imply that I am seeing other people, and I answer questions honestly. However, I'm cautious about how much information I put on a public profile and about how much information I volunteer to a person when I first meet them. I just don't believe that people should have access to those details of my life unless their is a possibility of a more serious relationship. If I'm only going to see them a few times or they want a non-serious FB relationship, then they don't need (or probably want) to know who else I'm sleeping with.
I don't really have a problem with this method, and it also serves the purpose of easing the transition to poly for a girl who has no poly experience. If a girl wants to be a more serious part of my life, then they need to accept that I'm polyamorous and have other relationships. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has reservations about this method, as she is much more direct when dealing with guys. I'm considering changing up how I do things, but I'm trying to do some research on the realities of the situation. This is the biggest poly forum I know of so it seemed like a logical place to start.
Again, what I REALLY want to know is whether or not poly-guys are successful at starting sexual relationships with secondaries who do not have prior poly experience, when they fully disclose the nature of their primary relationship at the get-go. So the big question is: Are there any women here who were introduced to poly by a guy who (1) already had a primary relationship and (2) announced that fact at the very beginning of the relationship?
/sorry it took me so long to really narrow down my question
//poly-guys with experience are welcome to chime in