So Very Lost
I'm a self identified queer individual who has female parts, thinks like a guy, and is attracted to both genders for sex and companionship. This is a very new part of myself I'm discovering, having had my first experience with poly this last January with a married couple.
They're my friends and have since ended our experiment, but now I'm confused. I can't decide between wanting a man and wanting a woman. So the ideal of polyamory interests me very much. My best friend is currently involved with a married couple and is their proud 'girlfriend'. I realized that I was so very jealous of this - not of my loving friend, but of the relationship she's maintaining successfully with two people who love her.
Looking into all this, I'm finding that here in Texas such things are very much not around or at least not talked about. There's no community for me to reach out to, much less find my ideal relationship.
But it's all so confusing. There's so many different ways people date and interact and such, I don't really know how to swim these waters. I'm very open minded but at the moment I think I would love being with a man AND a woman, exclusively. Not so much as commitment but just like dating... and getting involved with an already established couple seems tricky.
Jealousy and such.
I am such a laid back individual and I've never experienced romantic love, and I'm certainly nothing to be jealous of. But I can't help but want companionship, you know?
Bah I'm not sure what I'm saying in this thread. I'm just very lost.