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Old 08-09-2012, 09:09 PM
schoolme schoolme is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: DFW Area
Posts: 6
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WOW...I really shouldnt write on wednesdays...that is the day of the rape...

I know that Beauty and Bear are trying to do what they feel is in my best intrest...So I cant really place blame on this all on them...I have been an emotional rollercoaster for the last 3 weeks...

Magdlyn I have only known them for about 3 months...the poly lifestyle is new to all of us...Bear and Beauty have been married for 7 years now...So with in that seven years they haved learned how each other works as for me on the other hand I am just learning...

None of what has happened in the last 3 weeks was ever intended to happen and so we were all kind of thrown into a situation that we are all trying to make the best of...But as for me I feel like I am the outsider looking in some times and trying to figure out when I belong in all of this...

In my realationships in the past I was use to mental, physical, emotional abuse...And so that just became the norm for me...None of this is what I want in anytype of realationship ever again but once again going through the abuse that became my comfort zone...I am also use to being the one who takes care of everything and provides in the realationship and in the triaid that I am in now that is not my role that is Bears role...There is no abuse in this realationship really and for me that can be a hard thing to handle because I dont know how to funcution with out some kind of abuse...YES YES i know that any and all abuse is bad...But for me that has always been the norm so I am way out of my confort zone and I dont know how to act.

This morning was good I was planning on going to the store for something this morning and I started talking to Beauty and that lead to kissing...She said werent we suppose to go to the store to get stuff for breakfast and I replyed to her that I would rather have her for breakfast and then have what ever it was for lunch and then I finally got to make love to her and her to me...It was wonderful...

So today so far has been a very good day!!!!
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