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Old 08-09-2012, 05:56 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Honestly, take GG's advice.

Take their offer to back off for a short time-set two week time limit to rediscuss what LITTLE changes back towards a more normal dynamic and keep doing that every two weeks.

In your first two weeks-plan a romantic date with each of them each week-for you and time to reconnect WITHOUT DISCUSSING THIS DRAMA.

Also-take a SPECIFIED time (1 hour) with the two of them together to air your feelings (be sure ALL THREE OF YOU KNOW ITS JUST TO AIR THE FEELING AND GET REASSURANCE-not to fix anything).

Then schedule alone time for you daily if possible to consider "perfect world" for you (do'nt consider what happened-just what would be perfect for you).

THEN BUILD IT.

It sounds like you three were onto something, but boundaries were constrained and communication went array. That happens to the best of us. It means boundaries need reconsidered-it's OK TO HAVE STRICTER BOUNDARIES for a short time to figure out how to get there-and rebuild trust. But be aCTIVE in building the trust.

Their apology and their willingness to step back honorably and immediately are GREAT signs that you have a great group with the ability to learn and grow together.

And remember-feelings are fickle-they come they go. Sometimes they hang out a little longer-like a winter storm-but they WILL pass. So don't get too caught up in the bad feelings-don't let yourself believe the lie that these feelings are "your real life forever". They are just your feelings at the moment.
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