Originally Posted by newtoday
With Mono people, it's not about having a Primary of their own with a poly Secondary...they are Mono, remember? The Mono person will typically want only one
. Hence the term MONO.
Leaving the relationship isn't usually an easy option as Mono people have feelings of love and commitment, too!
I agree that if the level of satisfaction is below where the Mono partner needs their life to be, they should leave the relationship, but it gets old hearing some poly folk provide an easy solution to the mono folk of "just find another one to supplement
Really, ya think?
No more like relationships are not a hostage situation. If this situation is one that only happens to a mono person, just like with other relationships they had with one person - they don't HAVE to stay in a relationship that isn't serving them well. They can move on. And I didn't think this had to be a situation for only a mono person. I think poly people can, over time, end up wanting more than they thought they would want or they know is realistically possible with a married SO. I was once a mono single person. I remember what its like to love someone and have a relationship with them that wasn't a good fit and had to end.
And if the person isn't mono, its almost like thinking if there is someone else in the picture for their SO, they can't end THEIR relationship because it isn't a break up so much as a forfeit. But in the big picture it isn't. Its just deciding a relationship doesn't work for them.