But, but... I like the Muppets! I learned about relationships from Kermit and Miss Piggy! Gonzo showed me to go for the gusto even if it required chickens and cannons! Beaker showed me perseverence and forgiveness for one's idiot friends. Animal showed me how to live joyfully and completely present in the moment. The Swedish Chef showed me to that cooking mostly involved off-tune singing and flinging knives around. Sam the Eagle showed me the pompous side of patriotism.
I respectfully suggest that you consider changing your phrase to 'I don't want a reality show' or some thing like that. The Muppets are just too pure awesome, IMHO, to be associated with trainwreckedness. (new word- just made it up!) Even if Gonzo did wreck a train or two along the way...