Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
The thing is-if that is something the Op needs-then she needs to express it-and if it IS oppressive to the bf, this may not be a good match.
I have friends who I talk to RARELY (months go by) but I consider them CLOSE friends.
But-I don't have any lovers who are "secondary" and if I was building a primary relationship (both of mine are to me) then I would expect to be free to be in contact daily.
Thank you for this... I really can't thank everyone here enough for the variety of viewpoints you all are offering me. I know I have to express my needs, but my fear is that I become TOO needy...
He's mentioned that my "constant need for reassurance is starting to feel like maintenance". It hurt hearing that but I know he's speaking the truth. So, right now I am backing off.
I think what's important here is for me to find my balance again. I realize this more than ever now. That we may be compatible in most cases, except for this one. Is it a deal breaker? At this point, I am not sure. At this point even, I have a feeling he is starting to lose interest. But then, that's my view based on the disconnect I have been getting from him.
I do agree that it is not really about reassurance but about remaining connected. I will try to explain this to him next time I see him... if it isn't too late.