So I'm not sure where you are located, but one option to meet folks is to join a local poly group. If you give us a rough idea where you are, folks may be able to tell you if there is an active group nearby.
So, "far more" than sex - presumably this means being in love, and having a committed relationship? I'm going to ask my second question again - what if your wife meets this woman and they fall in love, but you and this other woman just don't "click" - what happens then?
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb