Moved in with SO. Primary shift issues.
Due to some personal circumstances, I have moved in with my SO. This has caused a disruption with his GF. Before, we had been trying to not have a primary-secondary Vee but now it is becoming apparent that I am taking on a primary role over the last couple of weeks. SO and I have found that in living together we actually click very well. It has been refreshing to move beyond the "dating" aspect of our relationship. It's like we have reached another level of intimacy.
However, I have been dealing with GF's insecurities on a daily basis for awhile now and honestly I am just worn out. I feel we have bent over backwards to accommodate her. We don't exclude her from our lives. I consider her a friend and we do things together alone. The three of us spend a lot of time together. Even so I am at a loss as to how to work this out.
She believes that each of our relationships with SO should "balance" and when they don't she freaks out. Her immediate reaction is to become clingy and whiny. It's like dealing with a child. For example, if she walks into the room she immediately will drape herself on him and begin to demand that he spend more time with her. And I get that is part of her personality but it irritates the hell out of me.
With me living here she is on overdrive. I have talked to her. He has talked to her. We both talked to her together. SO cares about her very much and I know that this is hurting him and he is worried. He keeps telling me that it's not my job to fix it but I still feel the need to make it better. I feel like my head is going to explode.