Wow, it seems like sanity is starting to prevail!
Sometimes you just have to let people arrive at their own answers, right? The trick is to make sure that, in the mean time, your needs and wants aren't getting trampled on.
I know this has been rough for you, but it's starting to sound like your husband is really understanding you and your needs better.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb