Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
I suspect folks choosing to live a mono lovestyle probably don't question the "possibility" of romantic love flowering (it's existence) but simply forbid any EXPRESSION of that love. In other words - it's a "concept" vs "reality" issue. I suspect it's the expression, the actions, associated with spreading love that constitutes the threat or breaking of vows. Whether "mono" minded people (as any large percentage) believe "love" to be a finite thing, somehow just doesn't compute with me.
I tend to agree with you GS. I really don't buy most of the arguments that there are big differences between poly and mono minds, and what they view as "possible", or whatever. Therefore, what Legion stated in the previous post really doesn't make much sense to me. Good monogamous relationships last because it is understood that attractions and feelings DO develop for other people outside of the mono relationship. And, the rules and boundaries for mono relationships are just as complex as poly ones... e.g. cheating could be porn, could be emotional, etc. But having deep emotional connections for others might be fine, and even supported, time even could be shared.. My parents, for example, have a long lasting mono relationship, where both are encouraged to have deep emotional connections with others of the opposite sex. They say it is healthy.
The only real difference in poly vs. mono principles is how many people one is involved with in an honest manner. Some could argue sex is involved in this divide. However, even this has caveats, because monogamous living does "allow" for dating multiple people, even somewhat seriously, and having all partners aware of it. Until EVENTUALLY one is chosen for some period of time. (mono can mean one at a time, not in a lifetime)
So - The more I think about it, the more the divide is blurred.