Originally Posted by WhatHappened
Maybe what I should be asking here is the broader question behind this: how wise is it to invite vanilla, mono people, with no experience in open relationships whatsoever, into a poly relationship?
Attempting a poly relationship with someone that is new at it certainly may be more challenging, and many people set rules for themselves that they'll only date people already in relationships, or people that are already used to polyamory.
This gets weighed against the reality that there are only so many experienced polyamorous people out there, and only so many places for meeting such people to date, vs the masses of people one comes across day to day that might be okay with polyamory but don't yet know about it or have limited experience.
Most people that are in polyamorous relationships are 1st generation poly. They had to learn/experience it themselves. So far out of the 100+ poly people I've spoken with face to face, only two grew up in poly families. Everyone else started with no experience.