View Single Post
  #25  
Old 08-08-2012, 06:57 AM
CrapEndOfTheStick CrapEndOfTheStick is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5
Default

I want to thank every single one of you for your input and advice. I want to give an update on the situation..

Yesterday, after the kids were put to bed, I sat my wife down and told her that I needed to talk to her and I wanted her to listen to what I have to say, to please not interrupt, then when I've said what I need to say, then she can respond.. I guess she could see that it wasn't a typical sort of airing of a gripe, so she listened.. and surprisingly, without eyes rolling or furrowed brow..

I listed everything she was doing that was causing me and the kids distress, I explained how and why those things were causing problems, and I told her what I felt needed to be fixed. I explained how and why I felt she had no respect for me or my feelings and how that this guy may be her dom, but I'm her husband and I my feelings should be of a higher priority than his. I explained that leaving me with the kids every weekend is hurting them. Yes, I'm here and I'm a good daddy, but they need their mom too, and did she want them growing up with memories of a mom that seemed to prefer to be elsewhere?

Once it was all out on the table, I am happy to report that she did not fly into a hissy fit, although she did try to justify a lot of her actions. She tried to say that she works at a high-stress environment, she is burdened with a lot of responsibilities and needs her D/s activities. I told her that I have stress too, running this house, taking care of the kids and keeping things going around here isn't some cakewalk, especially with being disabled. I told her there are nights that I don't sleep because of the stress I'm under, but I don't neglect my family to relieve it. I'm not out every weekend at a bar getting drunk or whatever.. I'm a dad and I have a responsibility to be here. She nodded and looked at the floor.

We went over basically all of it.. the lack of respect was the only one that she got sort of huffy about, saying that she's an adult and her own person and I can't tell her what to do. I told her that's true, but she is also my wife and my feelings should mean something to her. If she's doing something that is hurting me, she should care enough to stop. If she doesn't care, then how can she even remotely claim to love me. Again, she nodded and looked more than a little ashamed.

I told her that I understood that she needed her time and I had no problem with that, but I can't keep going this way.

She hugged me and said she scale back on her extra-curricular activities, a lot less visits and respect my feelings on things. She also said if she ends up slipping back into the way she has been or doesn't follow through, she wants me to shut it all down by closing our marriage, and she wouldn't resist it or resent me for it because it would be because she wasn't able to do her thing without losing her head. Above all else, she apologized and told me she loved me...

At this point, I know a lot of people would be cynical and say she's full of crap, but I'm an eternal optimist and I'm going to give her a chance to make things right.. if she doesn't keep her end, I'll be moving this marriage to Monogamy City and if that doesn't work, I'll be taking the kids and visiting a lawyer... But I don't think it'll come to that.. I've been with her for over 12 years and what I saw in her face was my wifey, and not that cold selfish self-justifying narcissistic woman that I've been dealing with.

Again, I want to thank you all for your advice and input.. It gave me the courage to lay it all out to her and hopefully save my marriage.
Reply With Quote