I realised tonight that its pain as much as stress and anxiety that keeps haunting me. Its hard enough to hear about what Leo is doing and then to somehow remain seperate when my metamour is struggling? Sigh... Have to be a big girl now and stay away as well as be supportive somehow.
Thing is its nothing that anyone is doing that makes it hard for me. Leo's wife is just living her life, as is my metamour. Its their common bf that is a newb and is struggling to handle the situation they are in with integrity and consideration for all. I wish he'd get some help. He's failing miserably in many ways I think and as a woman that successfully balances four relationships I can see his pit falls. He'll learn I guess and like those before him, break some hearts along the way.
I realised that I really have no hope of fully making up with Leo at this point in light of the situation I'm in...
I just want some peace with it ya know? An agreement that what's done is done, its water under the bridge and past. I won't be getting that soon.
I did reach out to Leo's wifes ex however and say hi. They aren't together any more so I took it upon myself to create space to talk if he wants to. It was largely because I met him for coffee one day that my break up with Leo was created. At least I have patched that up in time for the possibility of her ex being in my life in some way. I now won't have to avoid him too.
Little by little it will work out. I hope.