Itís been a long couple of days. Piper and I went away for a night. We went to a swingers party. Itís not really my thing Ė at all, frankly. But he enjoys it and so when I find I can handle it, we go. Needless to say, itís been like 2 years since we went last? Yeah, so I donít find that I can ďhandle itĒ very often.
It was ok. I always find those things to be pretty creepy. I have no issue with different body types Ė but what I canít understand is why people choose to emphasize their worst physical attributes???It makes no sense to me Ė and frankly, is quite a turn-off. Anyway, I danced, I smiled, I talked to people, so Piper appreciated it. Colada, surprise, refused to join us.
So they didnít see each other all weekend. Piper and I talked and talked and talked and talked. (Well, we also had some pretty mind blowing, errr, interactions too)
One thing Iím pretty excited about is that he agreed to go to a therapist to discuss more. Weíve even picked one out! So thatís a nice, concrete goal/plan/activity
I also asked him to leave me out of his relationship with Colada. There is definitely a sexual interplay between the three of us, despite not having met. Which, frankly, I enjoy. <sigh> I wish I didnít but it really turns me on, if Iím going to be honest. But if we engage in that sort of play, I expect a commiserate relationship, non-sexual involvement. Since that hasnít happened with Colada and me, I donít want to engage in the sexual piece. So he saw her last night and asked her to erase any pictures of me she has, refused to share with her our activities, and told her that I didnít want to play any longer. Tonight, heís telling her that itís not really possible for them to have a continued relationship either if she canít engage in the rest of his life (e.g. me, the house, the kids, etc.). Heís simply too busy and he doesnít want to keep going like this. So sheíll either come home with him straight away, plan to meet me this week, or they will break up. I am standing by (metaphorically only though Ė Iím a bit ďoverĒ this).
Otherwise, my room is coming along. Iíve picked out my paint colors, moved all my stuff down, and am starting to pick out wall stuff. Itís beginning to feel like ďmy spaceĒ. I like it. I like him visiting me.
I like having somewhere I can hide from the rest of the house. I think I might like to stay in my room, even after this experiment ends. At least for some time, I think we need a little distance. Not total distance, but a little. We are lightening up. We are laughing and flirting with each other again. I think it is good for us.
Rule #17: Communicate, communicate, communicateÖ
Task #17: Let him deal with Colada on his own Ė donít give him advice, donít intervene, donít veto. Trust him to deal with it without your dictations.