Earth to gold leader/
This is the last response from the original poster. It is usually wise to take into account any additional information which the original poster supplies. The OP (original post) usually lacks detail, and in a normal discussion where "Gold leaders" aren't trying to outgun the "Alphadogg" the thread might lead away from the content of the OP without "Gold leaders" approval.
You might wish to read up, and post something which is relative to the discussion instead of inciting a mutiny.
Originally Posted by Derbylicious
Maybe that's partly what this is. I like to believe that I'm pretty self sufficient though and that I can defend myself against what the world has to throw at me. Given my husband's job I do spend long periods of time alone and have to take what is thrown at me. But you are right that when he is home I do rely on him to take on his role as part of this family. Our time is sometimes fairly limited together and so I expect a lot of him when he is home to make up for the time that he is away.
There is so many things going on in my head and not a lot of it makes sense. I know things logically but I guess I just don't know them emotionally. More stuff to work through I guess. And here I was thinking that I didn't have any issues. I have a lot of issues that have come from a whole lot of places. I was so good at repressing them until now :P.
I think what I need is someone who has been in the early stages of poly and has gotten through it who I can confide in. Talking to your spouse only goes so far especailly when you're both coming into the discussion with somewhat of an agenda. We have friends that we can bounch other things off of and I think I could really use a friend who I can bounch poly stuff off of. Someone who understands the emotions and the difference between the logical and the emotional. I don't see the discussions between my spouse and I as moving forward anymore. It's important to talk and to be heard but it gets to the point when you're just having the same discussion over and over again and never coming up with any way of advancing.
I did not have this discussion with a human, and went through my first stages of poly all by myself. I understand that both of you would have mixed feelings. We are all programmed by our society to look for the "Damsel in Distress" or the "Prince Charming," not Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men.
What I see in poly friendly people is a desire to build community. You didn't mention any kids, so I won't assume that my speculation on their existence had relevent merits. If you could update that info, I am sure that "Gold Leader" and "Alphadogg" can come an agreement on where that portion of the discussion should be placed.