Yes. Yes I am.
When I say it gets muddy, I mean that I'm immediately aware when interacting that the weight and respect, and the level of attraction, that I give to her isn't matched. I stumble then, and get too anxious to just be as I would with anyone else. It's about vulnerability, I think.
And when I say it's a riveting thing to see, I mean from an academic point of view. To operate like that, you'd need to understand how people work at their innate levels and leverage it with subtlety.