Yes, my self-esteem was already critically low before all of this.
It's not a matter of finding someone that could be equally as good for me, though. I'm still young, am bright, and at the risk of sounding like a braggart, am ridiculously attractive.
That's actually a good question, though. Why am I willing to put up with all of this? I think a large part is how enamored I am with her as a person. Especially since she's been so open lately.
Really, I suppose my problems with it all are:
The cheating, which I can possibly forgive in time.
The fact that she never asked me ahead of time, which is related to the above.
That she kept on going after the first time without telling me.
How she tells me everything up front, listens to me, seems remorseful at how things played out, but gets bent when what I feel and what I have to say about it aren't exactly what she wanted. I don't feel she's willing to work on this mutually or make any sacrifice on her end in order to make us okay first. She just wants what she wants, and fuck everyone else.
But I suppose that's how our relationship has always been. Now she's just crossed so many lines, I have no idea why I'm still here. I want to be with her. I do not want to be with someone that wouldn't respect me enough to work with me as a partner.
Last edited by Sarcophagus; 08-07-2012 at 08:35 PM.