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Old 08-07-2012, 07:10 PM
snowmelt snowmelt is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 172

Originally Posted by Sarcophagus View Post
When asked why she wouldn't have called beforehand, she insists it was sudden and spur of the moment, and that at the time, we were pretty much not working anyway. When asked why she didn't tell me before continuing, she was afraid I would have just moved out and left her while she was gone, without hearing her out.
Sleeping with someone several times happened in the spur of the moment?

She waited until she got home to tell you because she knew it would be much easier to manipulate you into accepting what she did if she could talk to you face to face. This is obviously not the first time she has "convinced" you to accept her bad behavior. In the six years you haven't gotten married (what's the real reason for the delay?), I'm sure you've taught her where all your buttons are. She filed that information away. I know I sound like I'm picking on her a lot. There's evidence of manipulation everywhere.

Your fiance is an accomplished manipulator. I can cheat because we weren't doing well anyway? She rationalizes a lot to help her accept her own deceitful behavior. Almost any kind of destructive behavior is possible if she uses this kind of thinking. She is going to do what she wants to do. Your options look pretty simple to me. Accept that fully (and I mean FULLY) or leave her. It looks like she's not giving you a 3rd option.

Originally Posted by Sarcophagus View Post
Envy aside, I would have been fine with the idea of an open relationship if it had been presented to me first
So now you've had a chance to think seriously about poly. Remember, poly is about honesty. Do you really see honesty when you look at her? Consider moving on with your life and meeting new people.

Last edited by snowmelt; 08-07-2012 at 07:50 PM.
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