Originally Posted by GalaGirl
I can totally be in a 2 person rship and feel happy, loved, and content if I am allowed expression of my polyside. I don't NEED to have another lover. I NEED to be understood and loved like I am. Not keep a part of me stuffed down and hidden because... my spouse can't handle me talking about things?
I really like this way of thinking and I think a lot of more mono-wired people would perhaps be better at accepting poly if it were expressed this way.
A lot of mono people seem to think that having another lover is a NEED and so they are not enough. Whilst the real NEED is to simply be able to express your polyside and to be loved for that side too. I think this can cause a lot of misunderstandings. I've been in a poly relationship for over a year now with neither of us having much luck with finding other partners but it doesn't mean that my partner isn't satisfied because he's only with me at the moment, he doesn't NEED to be with more than one person to be happy in a relationship, he just needs the option and to express it.
It's funny, I had always identified as mono in the past, but by your definition, I was kind of behaving somewhat poly before I knew I was. In mono relationships I have always had to be able to express attraction and feelings for other people to be able to feel comfortable in my relationship. It never really occurred to me to act on them - because that wasn't part of the relationship agreement - but I always needed to express it.