So to many here 'being poly' means simply having crushes on or falling in love with more than one person at a time. But not that you must act on it to 'be your authentic poly self?'
To me polyamory
is the ability
to love more than one at a time. But I don't have to ACT on it. My fav button is "Bi, poly and I STILL won't sleep with you!" I could be SINGLE and poly and not act on anything at all.
The desire for only one person to love romantically at a time to me is "monoamory."
I think there are some people internally wired for mono- and some wired for poly-. Just like some people are wired for fast or slow metabolism or whatever trait. They just come wired how they come.
A polyamorous wired person could choose to be in a monogamous relationship structure. A monoamorous person could choose to be in a "V" structure. They both could choose to be celibate for all we know -- and still be polywired or monowired. Just not actively seeking a partner.
I mean, mono DH sees cute people on the street -- and he don't run over to them to jump their bones just cuz he saw them! He is a monowired man in a closed married rship!
Why would I jump their bones just cuz I'm polywired? Sheesh. I am in a closed married rship!