Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
Dude and I have sex way more often than MrS and I do. MrS and I practically live inside each others minds. So, yes, Dude is my primary sexual partner and MrS is my primary emotional partner. But there are so many more parameters than that. MrS and I have a 20 year history of experience together. Dude and I enjoy thrashing out intellectual shit that MrS and I already agree on. etc. etc. etc.
Letting each relationship be what it is and not trying to force some artificial "equality" into the equation is a key component to our happiness (and my sanity!
Live. Love. Enjoy!
Jane, I love how you think. It's the basis of Poly.. you can't be everything to someone.
I think that's the challenge. Figure out what it is you offer that's special to the relationship.
I'm in a bit of a conundrum with that in my relationship right now. Rules of engagement have changed. I no longer am as secure in the place I hold in his life. Yet he insists nothing has changed for him with regards to me. I believe him. He's done a great job of assuring me of that.
So I appreciate how you explain it. Thank you!