Originally Posted by WhatHappened
You have every reason in the world to worry about your wife showing up with bruises. People do assume. Many will not ask for clarification. If they do, will she tell them it's BDSM play with someone else or let them think the worst of you?
People in certain professions or with certain licenses are "Mandatory Reporters" if they think you are abusing your wife and therefore possibly your children, they are required by law to report it to the police. Teachers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, police officers, etc.
What DH said - start protecting yourself and your children. What will she claim when faced with a custody fight? Speak with an attorney, look closely at your options and document everything (photo's, times, dates, the weather, your state of health, etc). If by some magical wand, she starts showing you the respect you deserve, great, if nothing changes you will be prepared.