My girl also has a Dom/Bull, BDSM is not something I like or understand. However I respect the fact that she was with him before me, and also that she enjoys that side of her sexualality, and that she does not get that from me, although we tried, and had fun. It was fun though because we had a good laugh, and that's not what she wants. She has always has been 110% sexually submissive to him, and still is, so much so that when he wants to be with her now, he is. She is not submissive to him out of the bedroom though, and is very much independent of mind and sprit.
What troubles me about your post is you say there is no respect shown towards you, and that your opinion and feelings count for nothing, this is the opposite to us. Everything we do is done with consent, when something bothers us, we talk it out. An example of this is the marking up of her skin. I didn't like touching and kissing my girls sexy ass, only to find it covered in lots of red marks from where she gets spanked and whipped. We discussed it, and now there are no more marks. I respect their need to enjoy their BDSM stuff, but they respect my feelings also. I could not be with my girl if she didn't show that level of care for me, and vice versa.
Originally Posted by CrapEndOfTheStick
I'm at my wits end.. At this point, I'm about to drop the ultimate veto, which we'd also agreed to in the beginning. I'm about to say, "The open marriage is now closed.. No more Dom.. It's DONE." ... Part of me thinks she'll resent it, but she'll do it.. but another part of me thinks she might just pack her belongings and leave me and the kids.. It's a frightening concept, but at this point, I've about had it and can't think of anything else I can do.
If that is true, I really think you need to ask yourself if you want to be in that type of relationship, I would not, I would feel as if I was wasting my time.