Only you can make that call.
- Poly rship
- less negativity
- not to have to deal with depression or borderline personality disorder
- not to live in chronic conflict
- to decide if being uplifted sometimes makes up for the being mentally/emotionally drained a lot. You don't seem to enjoy the rollercoaster
- Mono rship
- to feel secure (is this possible with her conditions in a polyship?)
- to not worry about abandonment (is this possible with her conditions in a polyship?)
I don't think either of you are bad people. But I'm not getting the vibe that you are the most in sync here. Neither of you is feeling esp emotionally safe -- and not because of mean partner, but because of the situation. Mismatched personalities/people.
And since 8 mos is not all that long? Perhaps other partners would be a better fit if both partner's cannot put in the work to address the mismatched places.
It isn't lack of love or caring it just... the situation. I also don't see the point of avoiding a split just to avoid a split. Be together because you want to BE together. And do the work to improve weak areas.
Not just be together because you want to avoid the ugh of a breakup.