Changed my mind.
Hi. I posted here once 3 years ago about my boyfriend turned husband wanting to open our relationship and wondering why I wasn't enough. From then to now, things have changed in my head. I went from being staunchly against it, to wondering what it would be like, to feeling like something is missing in my life and I'm not as happy as I could be to actively wanting to pursue other relationships. Problem is the last time my husband and I talked about poly I told him if he ever brought it up again I was leaving. That was three years ago and it hasn't been discussed since. Our relationship has not been good for awhile and I feel it is because neither one of us are really happy with the arrangement I insisted on. I feel trapped. He feels like I'm controlling him. It has gotten to a point where I no longer want a romantic relationship with him, we are just roommates. I find myself thinking about other people I want to be with but can't. I know he does too, not because he has told me but because I've seen the effects of him spending too much time on the phone with someone he told me loved and less and less time with me. I know this is coming off as that saying "relationship broken, add more people" but I wonder if opening our relationship may help? I know he doesn't want monogamy and never did, he just did it to make me happy and now I feel like I don't want it either, so what can it hurt? I don't have specific questions, just looking for advice I guess.