I've been reading this thread, and I want to clear up something. I would make the assumption that everyone wants to talk, but I would make no assumption at all about what kind of relationship configuration the three of you have when you find what works. If you're going to aim for a specific outcome, aim for everyone having a chance to speak their truth and to hear what the others have to say. Let things go where they need to from there. Go with the waves, instead of trying to tell the waves where to go. You're looking for harmony, not a specific configuration.