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Old 08-05-2012, 09:39 PM
snowmelt snowmelt is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 172

By requiring 100% equality, you are making a demand that is creating stress and being unrealistic. People are all different by the very nature of being human. Discovering the differences and honoring them is a big part of all happy relationships. The three of you seem to be tossing a lot of demands at each other. Your demands are based on your fear of not having your needs met. The demands A and B are making are based on their fears of not having their needs met.

I recommend talking honestly about the fears underneath those demands, instead of talking about the specific demands. That means you tell A and B what your fears are, and ask each of them to tell you what their fears are. That does not mean demanding they tell you what their fears are. Make the assumption that everyone wants this arrangement and is looking for the opportunity to be in harmony with it. Making demands is an attempt to "correct" a situation they believe is not meeting their needs, which indicates the person who is making the demands wants things to work, they just may not be sure how to get there.
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