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Old 08-05-2012, 04:01 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Originally Posted by GreedyPaul View Post
my Mistress and Her Husband have what they call "Ultimate Veto Power" in reguards to their extra-marital relationships. any and all lovers they have are subject to the approval of their spouse first, and throughout the life of those relationships. before either starts a relationship, the other meets and makes a relationship with the other and decides if this is a beneficial relationship or a toxic threat. all parties agree to the veto power and that His and Her relationship comes first. this must be agreed on by all.
I am very glad that this is something that you can agree to. If I were to be interested in getting involved with someone in a relationship where that was the condition for entry, then I would run away from it as fast as possible. The reason is that I want to be able to relax in my relationships, and not feel like there is a Sword of Damocles hanging over it the whole time, that someone I am not in the relationship with can, on a whim, end it, and my partner and I would have no say in it.

Originally Posted by GreedyPaul View Post
i tell you this in the hopes that you will step back and re-evaluate your relationship with your husband. you married him. he married you. if you love each other, and im sure you do, you need to value this relationship higher than your bf and his gf.
Turning this around - are you saying that if people refuse to rank each other in this way, then what exists isn't really love?

Again, if this works for you, then fine, but it wouldn't work for me.

Originally Posted by GreedyPaul View Post
they need to know that you do. that you're united in this relationship first. that all others come second.
Ah, what I call the "couple front" - the couple are a single entity, joined at the hip. Everything else is trivial in comparison. I would suggest that this is a large proportion of the so-called "unicorn hunters" out there and that this is the primary reason why they can't actually ever find anybody. Because, let's be honest, who wants to feel like they are second best? Don't they deserve more than that?

Originally Posted by GreedyPaul View Post
if anybody (cough cough his gf cough cough) senses that you are divided, they will exploit you and him and know that neither of you will take a stand. unity is a must.
What a sorry distrusting world that you live in. Why do you assume that the motive is to divide the couple, if that is possible? Why is this a contest with winners and losers - why can't we have a situation of a poly relationship where everyone wins?

It's worked for me, and quite a few of my poly friends. But, as I said, if this sort of setup works for you and you are happy, then more power to you.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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