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Old 08-05-2012, 09:11 AM
snowmelt snowmelt is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
That rule being that I cannot fall in love with him.
A rule like this always comes from a couple who is very insecure about their own relationship. It's unrealistic. Imagine sitting down with a scheduling calendar and a "to do" list and deciding who you're going to fall in love with, when and why. Unrealistic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
When I first agreed to it I was not looking to fall in love and am still not.
See above. Unrealistic for you as well as them.



Quote:
Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
I'm not looking to move in with him or get married, but I do feel strongly about him and hope our relationship can last a long while.
Ok, but what exactly does this mean? What do you want? What is a relationship to you?



Quote:
Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
What if I did unknowingly fall for him though? Would that mean we would have to breakup because of that love?
Exactly, that's why a rule like that is unrealistic. Think about it - break up because of love?




Quote:
Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
I have also noticed that I have become increasingly jealous of his fiance and their relationship. Its so confusing though because part of what I like about him is how much he loves and trusts her. Maybe I just wish I was the primary partner?
I would tell him you're no longer going to follow the don't fall in love rule, and see how he responds to that. Then drop your own expectations of what this relationship is and consider it an adventure in learning about yourself. Chances are this couple is not good for you, because they are insecure. They're trying to control who falls in love with who. You're still getting to know yourself. Their insecurities are getting in the way of that.
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