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Old 08-05-2012, 08:18 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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Originally Posted by savygirl25 View Post
What if I did unknowingly fall for him though? Would that mean we would have to breakup because of that love?
You should ask him that. You should also ask him if he fell for you, if he'd talk to his partner (and you) about it, and if there is flexibility in their agreements. (It cannot hurt to know that.) Some agreements are made in relationships that do change a LOT if people just speak up and negotiate. My husband and I have changed a lot of things we initially agreed to, and all it takes is somebody saying - hmm I don't think this is true for me anymore, can we talk about it again?

If the answer is "I'd kick you to the curb" I would leave, because I am worth more than that. (Ok I'd never date somebody who had that agreement because that's not polyamory, it's the opposite, but you know what I'm saying). Really I imagine you don't want to waste your vibrant youth falling for somebody who you aren't "allowed" to care about "too much"

Perhaps you are jealous because upfront you were denied something that you don't even know if you want? Envious because they've agreed not to "share" his heart. Is he saying he is polyamorous, and if so, how does he explain the no feelings allowed thing?
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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