Glad it helps. I hope you can talk it out and arrive at some kind of framework or guidelines.
I can see hard limit things like "PLEASE! Do not date my mother/father! My nephew! My boss!" Those are very reasonable to have!
But don't date ____ that I want to date just because my DH got a wigginz? Work the wigginz out with me and explain to me why this is so. I am willing to hear.
If it is baggage I need to help you unpack and sort out, I can offer my support and nurture and suggestions. But this is your baggage, so you have to decide what to keep and what to toss out because it no longer serves you well. If you ask my advice I can tell you the blue shirt is NOT flattering on you. Chuck it. But the black jeans are hawt. Keep those.
Not just go "Ahhhh! It's poking me in my baggage! Just don't do it so I don't have to look in there and sort my baggage out! Or here... YOU hold all my baggage that I want to avoid/ignore! Then I don't have to sort OR hold it!"
That makes no sense. I have my own baggage problems to work through. If DH doesn't even want to hold some of his baggage, why do *I* have to carry it? Throw it away, goofy!
I love ya, but dang. Everyone holds their own bag!
at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH.
Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)