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Old 08-04-2012, 02:51 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,968
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So here's what I am hearing. Or think I am hearing. Correct me if I am wrong.

Persephone FEELINGS:
  • Resentful of effort made for time spent with C
  • Resentful of effort made for time spent with R
  • Where is effort made for time spent with Persephone?

Persephone WANTS:
  • More time with her DH in the mornings for sexy time. (Does not have to be full on penetrative intercourse. Would be ok with outercourse.)
  • More quality time in general? Does not have to be sexy time. Just bondy time?


Persephone NEEDS:
  • To have discussion with DH
  • To arrive a potential happy medium solution to try on for the next (?) months
  • Have DH to commit to following through on that.
  • Some kind of connection with DH before a date and aftercare/rebond when he is back from dates. Lack of this underscores "lack of effort made to spend quality time" with perseophone problem.

Persephone LIMITS
  • Does not like evening sexy times that leave her frustrated (why? Do you feel like it's a lick and a promise chore thing at this time of day with him and not his full presence?)
  • Do not add this R person seriously until you are back in right relationship with me. I have needs going unmet. I do not want you spread even thinner.

DH LIMITS
  • His health.
    • weekly testosterone injections (help but do not solve)
    • performance anxiety since he had dysfunction for five years
  • Other?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
  • Unwillingness to seek pro care (5 yrs on dysfunction! WTF? He is responsible for his own equipment. Why this shirky?)
  • Sex Therapist -- was good experience? Perhaps go back?
  • Explore new sexual experiences? Adult sex ed classes? (To solve bondy time thing with persephone while expanding their sexual spectrum ideas?)

I'm sure there is more to fill in, but perhaps that helps you start boiling it down? Anyway, I offer it in the spirit of hoping you get to your happy medium solution one way or another. Hang in there!

HTH!
GG
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