Originally Posted by persephone
Thanks, Anneintherain. I haven't seen anyone else discuss a comparable situation in a forum, ever, where a partner wanted multiple sexual relationships despite a low libido. It's reassuring that I'm not alone.
I'm not really sure what the norm for 'low libido' is, but I'm pretty sure that mine is not very high, and I currently have 3 partners.
My lack of desire has been an issue in my relationship with my husband for a long time, and has left him very frustrated at times. We hit a really low point about 10 years ago when I think we maybe had sex once a month.
When we started opening up the relationship, initially with swinging, for a brief time my libido became much higher. It started to fade again after a year and while its higher now than 3 years ago, I suppose its still not very high.
I can happily go 2 weeks without sex, I might masturbate during this time but that is often more a relaxation technique than the result of feeling horny.
So why am I seeking out other, sexual relationships? Well to me there are, like GG said, so many stops on the sexual spectrum. I LOVE kissing and making out. Sometimes it makes me want to have sex, sometimes not. And sometimes I will have sex when I am not really in the mood. I still enjoy it, but I could have gone without it, if you know what I mean . Of course this is easier for a woman than a man. I love spending time with my guys, I love feeling physical, being naked together and comfortable, taking showers, sharing the intimacy that you get with someone you trust enough to get naked with. Even when it doesn't always lead to hot & heavy sex.
I love feeling attraction, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. But the physical attraction can sometimes just mean a lot of hugging, kissing, cuddling, sleeping together. So far, none of my partners is complaining about not getting enough sexual attention, even though there is decidedly NOT a lot of straightforward intercourse going on.
Since I have 2 other relationships I actually find that the sex life between me and my husband has improved. We talk about our needs more, and sometimes I make more of an effort to get in the mood.