Galagirl, D isn't making much time to be with me sexually, no. Our best time, when things are most likely to work for us, has historically been mornings, but lately, even though we are both usually awake early enough to make that happen, he isn't wanting sex. Evenings, he tends to come to bed when he's exhausted and still try to have sex with me, which almost always ends up with me frustrated as hell. (Yes, he's always willing to get me off manually, but a lot of the time I just don't want that, especially since I am used to having intercourse first, sexual play after. We got into that pattern years ago because his sexual arousal can vanish in five seconds, so we tend to seize the moment.)
He's seen a doctor and he's on testosterone injections. I give them to him weekly. They help, but don't solve the problem. He has performance anxiety since he had dysfunction for five years but refused to see a doctor or do anything to help himself at all until five years had passed. We saw a sex therapist together for close to two years and I think she was very good, but performance anxiety isn't something you can necessarily fix.
Last night he was with C after we had a two and a half week period where we had intercourse exactly once. (The norm for us is three or four times a week.) I wanted to be OK with it. I certainly wasn't going to tell him he shouldn't be with her, I like her a lot, and I am in a romantic relationship with her husband. But after it was over, I felt so awful I wanted to punch D in the face, hard, and I locked him out of our bedroom, which is a first for me.
Sorry for the vent.