EN-ER-GY! Yes, that’s what I felt today…more energy. I basically told Piper that I didn’t think Colada was into the type of relationship he wants. We talked, he listened, he said he will talk to her. But either way, I felt better being able to express my feelings, make a change, and it is allowing me to move forward.
I am fully moved into my new room – well, at least all my stuff is there. I’m still working on the decorating. But that’s the fun part.
And another thing happened last night. Piper always wants me to be interested in being with other men – which basically, I’m not. But sometimes, I can handle talking about it with him and when I can, I do. So last night, I was IMing with someone while Piper was on skype with me. The man was quick-witted, smart, complimentary, etc. My profile on the site has no picture – I guess people like my personality? because I get a lot of messages about what I wrote. Piper says people just like single females – maybe that’s true. But they sure take the time to write nice things about what I wrote – so they at least obviously read what I wrote, and that’s something. Well, it feels good to be liked for my personality – so I’m sticking to that assumption. So this guy and I ‘talked’ for about an hour and it made me smile – really smile. Not so much because I liked the guy – obviously I don’t really know him and I’m not really into having multiple relationships – but it made me smile because I felt like a good person. Someone that people would like. I saw myself through his complimentary eyes and I was like – hey, I’m not so bad….heck, I might even be pretty great. That felt so good! When I used to see patients, I would tell them to put a card on their bathrooms mirrors that said the old adage…”I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and damnit, people like me!” …maybe I should take my own advice.
Rule #16 – Life’s too short, make me smile if you can.
Task #16 – Make myself smile – I am my own primary….