I'm sorry you are hurting Mag.
I don't know if you remember my story.
But, I cheated.
It's been a long haul to make up for the damage I caused. OBVIOUSLY there is some I simply can't ever fix. Not ever.
I don't know if either of them is willing or interested in actually putting in the time and effort to EARN your forgiveness.
But I do know that you deserve to be treated with respect, honor and honesty. If they can't or won't commit to facing the fact that they didn't live up to that standard, and that they owe you much more than a "oh, sorry" response, it's not worth your time.
There is a LOT LOT LOT of work for a cheater if they want to make true amends.
Mono and I have both written EXTENSIVELY on this board regarding that topic as we both have cheated in the past.
Don't let them off without doing the work.
YOU DESERVE to be angry.
YOU DESERVE to be hurt.
YOU DESERVE to be distrustful.
YOU DESERVE to be heard as you express these emotions.
YOU DESERVE how ever long it takes you to work through those emotions.
Don't sell yourself short.
"Love As Thou Wilt"