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Old 08-03-2012, 08:17 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

dingedheart and Anneintherain, things were a little different than I described and hence different than you interpreted.... That's what happens when I try not to type posts that are too long...
I was actually the one who proposed the '3 nights together' and intially, we did not specify whether they would be consecutive.. just '3 nights the beginning of next week'.

I then sent him an email telling him I blocked 3 nights in my calendar for us, Sunday, Monday and Wednesday. This was a typo of mine - I meant Sunday Monday Tuesday, but I'm horible with things like that, and will often say right when I mean left etc
Anyway he then emailed me back and said 'did you mean Sunday Monday Tuesday, or Sunday Monday Wednesday, because if you meant the latter, I could maybe meet the GF on Tuesday.'
And then I said that's fine and then I'll go meet the BF.

dingedheart, yes, it was not going to see the BF for 10 days and not a 10 day visit..
He lives in another city and it takes me about 2 hours to get there. Which is why I visit him about once a week.. if I go see him on weekdays, I have to get up insanely early to make it to work on time, and during the weekends I often have other obligations. Once a week is working fine for us, and 10 days instad of one week really is not that much of a deal to either me or BF. What I was worried about was my husbands neediness.

On the other hand, to me it doesn't really feel like his attitude is that it's fine when he's dating and not when he's not dating.
He's been incredibly supportive of my relationships and still is. He just had a LOT to deal with the past couple of weeks.

3 days after he found out his GF cheated on him and they broke up (its not clear now wether they are broken up, but at that point they were) my BF came to visit my for a long weekend. I was house sitting for a friend and my BF was there with me for 4 days, while my husband was home alone, sad and hurting. Honestly, I don't know if it had been me, if I could have dealt with that. We talked on the phone and met briefly during that time, and he reassured me that he did not want to mess up my weekend with the BF, but it was obvious that he was having a really hard time.
In that light, I did not feel it was that unreasonable that when the drama between him and GF continued, he asked me to slow down just a little bit.

Not unreasonable, but still hard for me to deal with, and upsetting, which was what my post was about.

All that being said, the relationship between him and the GF, is still a major sourc of discussion between us. Very curious and a little scared what will happen when they meet again next week.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years

Last edited by Cleo; 08-03-2012 at 08:23 AM.
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